Like me, you might have started to notice the evenings drawing in, reminding us the Autumn is on its way. As seasons change, we have an opportunity to pause a reflect on changes in our own life. We all face change in our lives on a regular basis, and how we think about it, approach it and handle it can influence our wellbeing.
Change in our lives
Living in a temperate climate like England, we see change throughout the year in the seasons. Whether it is the amount of sunlight changing, different flowers coming in to bloom, or the amount of rainfall. The seasons come every single year and yet still take us by surprise.
Seeing the first flowers bloom in February can be the small, uplifting reminder people need that warmer days are coming. When the crocuses break through the hard ground, we are reminded that beautiful, delicate things can survive hard times.
Now as we enter Autumn, we are faced with the reminder of the need to let go sometimes. The falling leaves that characterise this season are shed by trees trying to lighten their load during winter when winds will be high and nutrients might be scarcer. By not having a canopy full of leaves that can get caught in the wind, they are better able to bend and sway in the wind rather than being overwhelmed by it. And with less sunlight for the leaves to turn in to food through photosynthesis, they serve little purpose to the tree and are better off shed.
This can be a time for us to consider what we might want to shed from our lives. What is no longer serving us and could even risk dragging us down. As we start to consider what we might want to change, we might notice that change can be daunting.
Why can change be hard?
Change can be difficult for us to bear as it means things are uncertain. If our job is changing, will it change for the better or for the worse? If our relationship changes, will we be closer or might we break up? If our family changes, will be feel surrounded by love or will more people bring more conflict?
This fear of the unknown can cause us to dislike change of any form, or just to be suspicious of it.
Embracing change
How we respond to change shapes how we experience change. If we spend our time focusing on the possible negative outcomes we may become anxious and hesitant. Whilst that can seem helpful, telling ourselves that ‘at least I’ll be prepared when it happens, it can also have a big impact on how we feel.
Instead, can we balance our thoughts? Often uncertainty takes us to a place of fear, focusing on the negatives of the situation. If we can approach the change by considering what neutral or positive things it might bring us, then we can begin to balance out the negatives that our mind is offering up because of the fear. It’s important not to pretend the negatives aren’t real, but instead to say they are just some of the possible outcomes of change.
Or, can we bring curiosity to the change? Bringing a sense of childlike curiosity can help us navigate changes. If we accept that we don’t know how it’s going to turn out we can shift our focus from thoughts like ‘this is going to turn out like….’ To ‘I wonder what will happen?’. By reminding ourself that we don’t know how something will turn out, we can begin to cultivate curiosity and intrigue. This can take time but is worth investing in as curiosity is linked with positive mental states like awe and wonder which are beneficial for our wellbeing.
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