The Comfort Zone and the Stretch Zone

Have you been told that if you want to change things you need to step outside your comfort zone? Did it make you wonder “Why would you step outside your comfort one- it’s comfortable there!”

Well, you’ve got a fair point.

What is the Comfort Zone?

There are important reasons we’ve established our comfort zone and choose to stay in it a lot of the time.

In the comfort zone we know what to expect. This means our brain can run largely on autopilot using familiar patterns to plan responses to situations, saving us important brain power. We also feel calm in our comfort zone; our nervous system is regulated, we can breathe easily and feel settled in our bodies. All of this is important for our overall wellbeing.

However, sadly it is also true that to change things we do need to step outside our comfort zone. By its definition, new things aren’t going to be things we’re comfortable and familiar with, simply because they’re new.

“We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are.” – Max DePree (businessman and writer)

 

So how do you step beyond your comfort zone in a way that’s actually going to help you?

What is most frustrating about the “Get out of your comfort zone” advice is that we’re given no path for how to do this safely. If we step outside our Comfort Zone we need to know that we’re not going to be overwhelmed, exhausted, burnout. This is where the idea of the Stretch Zone becomes vitally important.

As well as identifying where we are comfortable and labelling that our Comfort Zone, we need to know where the boundaries are of the circumstances were we feel things are uncomfortable but still tolerable, and where we reach the point that things become so uncomfortable it’s overwhelming. This is how we find the Comfort Zone, the Stretch Zone and the Panic Zone.

For someone who struggles with social anxiety, a Comfort Zone activity could be being at home, alone and messaging people on their phone. A Stretch Zone activity could be when they are going out to somewhere they know (a familiar café) but they might have to interact with a new person e.g. speak to the serving staff. Or it could be going out with a friend they feel comfortable with, to a new place they don’t know. Neither of these scenarios is comfortable, they will be anxious, but the anxiety is at a level that is tolerable.

It’s important to also know where they tip over the edge into the Panic Zone. This is where things are so uncomfortable for them it is intolerable. This could be about recognising that going to a completely new place and talking to a stranger would just be so overwhelming and exhausting it would cause them to shut down.

Why identify your Panic Zone?

What is most important about identifying your Panic Zone is setting yourself reasonable challenges that aren’t going to damage your progress. If you are regularly putting yourself into situations where you feel overwhelmed, exhausted, unsafe, unheard, then you are only teaching your nervous system that doing new things is too dangerous. All you will do is retreat to your Comfort Zone and refuse to leave. And frankly, that would be sensible.

If you know what your Panic Zone activities look like, you know what is going to be too much for you and how to look after yourself well.

It may take some time (and some trial and error) to figure out what zone an activity sits in, but once you know it’s a Panic Zone activity, it is important to respect your own boundaries and not do that activity.

So, will I never do a Panic Zone activity?

If something is firmly in your Panic Zone activity list, you should not do it. However, over time the Zones shift and change.

As you do Stretch Zone activities and feel more comfortable doing them, your Comfort Zone expands to include these. This then means your Stretch Zone shifts out too. When previously going to a new café was a stretch activity, but now feels easily doable, you get to pick a new stretch activity like finding a new café in its busiest period of the day.

This also means you Panic Zone shrinks. You will find yourself doing things that previously would have been terrifying, and now they’re just unusual and a bit uncomfortable.

Can I go back to my Comfort Zone now?

Time in your Comfort Zone should always be a significant chunk of your time. This is where you recuperate and rest, where you gather the strength for your forays into Stretch Zone activities.

Enjoy your time in your Comfort Zone, revel in it, luxuriate in it. And know that it’s not your only home, you belong in your Stretch Zone too, as that’s where you can grow.